TABLE OF CONTENTS

Poetry—

Dawn—Hermion Wheaton  ................................................................... 3

Morning Song—J. H. Stellwagen _____________________  4

                                                  Spring Song—K. Washburn   4

Sunset—Ruth Thorshov                                                          5

Let Us 'Oap—L. D. Wakefield _______________________  5
Literature—

                                               The Abduction—John Hynes   6

Introducing Introductions—Irene Couper  ______________ 7
Off Again, on Again, Gone Again—Tillie—Ruth Lampland 8 Pockets

Art—and—a Street Car—Virginia Bollinger _____________ 11

                                                             A Last Apostrophe   12

A Word from the Absent—Jane Ford _________________ 12
Faculty

Cartoons __________________________________________ 15
Our Principal Says

Editorials ___________________________________

Society — __________________________________________  
Organizations

Athletics __________________________________________ 23

Alumni _______

Exchange                                                                                    2f3

Jokes   ____________________________________________ 29

Personals __________________________________________ 30

The Campus Breeze

Volume VII                          May and June, 1925                            Number 7

 

Sv ' r-N ___________________________

( - ___

POETRY

DAWN

Afar in the eastern sky there shines a saffron globe; It spreads

And becothes

A rosy sett.

From its depths rides the chariot of Apollo. He hurls,

Through infinite space,

Javelins of light.

One of there speeds through my bedroom window.. It pierces mr lids,

Which quiver

And lift.

But my eyes cannot contain the glory of the sun;

My mind cannot comprehend its magnificence;

So I shut my eyes,

Turn weary limbs,

And slumber on.

—Hertnion Wheaton, '25.

 

4                               THE CAMPUS BREEZE

—Katherine Washburn, '25.

MORNING SONG

Shadow-mottled lies the sunlit pane Of semi-iridescent crystal . . . clear A slow drip, drip of melting snow—mild rain—Strikes softly on the drowsy eye and ear.

The creeping patch of light upon the floor Outlines the budding forms of many leaves. Evanescent thoughts elude the door

To twitter with the swallows 'neath the eaves.

A sweet-toned voice goes running on and on, Compelling forth the lazy memories Of old idyllic days in fair Alton—Soft winds 'neath many leafy trees.

J. H. Stellwagen, '25.

SPRING SONG

'Tis a clarion call!

Sound it far and near !

Spring, oh, joyous Spring is here!

The crocuses are out!

The mayflowers dance about! Pearly blood-roots peeping forth! Never a wind from out the North ! Gay, light laughter!

Merry, thoughtless chatter! Jumping-ropes and marbles! A blue-bird gaily warbles! Little, quiet nooks!

Gurgling, happy brooks!

'Tis a clarion call!

Sound it far and near !

Spring, oh, joyous Spring is here!

 

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                 5

—Lucy Day Wakefield, '25.

SUNSET

Slowly, silently, one by one,

The tiny lamps begin to glow ;

As golden clouds fade with the sun, And purple shadows 'gin to grow.

The sleepy world of trees and flowers Is bathed in rosy light;

As chirp the birds from leafy bowers To say a last good night.

In the shadowy forest nook Tiny bells begin to nod;

While the drowsy murmuring brook

Slips beside the cool green sod.

O'er the tinted rippling lake

Comes a zephyr softly sighing, Bringing coolness in its wake,

When the day is slowly dying.

Now the light is slowly fading,

Slowly fading into night;

As nature ufeams of future glory

And a world of golden light.

—Ruth Thorshov, '27.

LET US 'OAP

I wonder, often wonder, If the fishes take a bath—If the bubbles near the shore Are but tokens of their chore Rising up along their path—

And no more.

I wonder, often wonder,

If the finny mammas ask,

As they scrub. their scaly skins—Fish, like boys, have common sins—If they did their scrubby task

Behind their fins.

I wonder, often wonder, If the fish do take a bath—If the bubbles, as they ^-float, Aren't the tokens that denote Fumes of very boy-like wrath-

-Got his goat•.

THE CAMPUS BREEZE

THE ABDUCTION

"I'm late," cried Mr. Grahame, as he ran from the door of his house on a Monday morning. "No street car in sight, either. Guess I'll have to ask for a ride. Here comes a car. They'll give me one."

The car drew up alongside the curb, and Mr. Grahame climbed in.

"Where are you headed for?" asked the driver.

"The University," replied Mr. Grahame, who was an instructor in the Engineering school. They went down the street in silence, and when they reached the "U," Mr. Grahame said "Please let me out here. This is where I stop."

The driver did not answer him, nor did he stop. Mr. Grahame thought he had not heard him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"I'll get off here, if you please," he repeated. The car kept on. and he became frightened. He thought of Leopold and Loeb and

wondered how it felt to be hit on the head with a chisel. 'The car

was going too fast for him to get out or call to anyone, and it was too early in the morning for him to hope to get in a traffic jam.

They did not go downtown, but took a route which led them

through the outskirts of the city. Mr, Grahame had already tried to attract the attention of one policeman, with no success. Now he

determined to call out to the next person he saw, but the driver turned to him. "You had better not make any noise. It will be for your own good."

Mr. Grahame subsided. He had abandoned all idea of calling for help. - He looked again at the country through which they were

passing. They had left even the suburbs now and were far in the

open country, surrounded by fields and trees, with only now and then a lonely house in the distance. Finally they came to a particu-

larly deserted-looking stretch of country. The fields were not even cultivated. Here the roadster stopped. Mr. Grahame was conscious of a rather strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wondered if they would kill him at once or by slow torture. Then the driver spoke, "Come up here on this hill."

He went with shaking knees. The driver put out a hand and

grasped him by the shoulder.                             .

"Say," stuttered Mr. Grahame, "I have five hundred dollars I'll give you to let me go."

"It's not enough," answered the driver. "You must have at least seven hundred dollars. Because, sir, for seven hundred dol-

lars I will present you with a deed to one of these beautiful home-sites," making a sweeping gesture, "and without one, let me tell you, your life isn't going to be worth much. Just-take the pen and sign here, and I will be happy to take you wherever you wish to go."

—John Hynes, '26.

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                    7

INTRODUCING INTRODUCTIONS

If certain social conventionalities, especially those of introduc­tions, should suddenly collapse and, die from an overdose of male­dictions, there would probably be few of us who would not be a contributing element. We have all at some time or other under­gone the trying experience of attending a large reception, or some such social function, where we were forced, in spite of our weary legs and the boring conversation going on around us, to smile and shake hands with everyone very graciously, and say mechanically, "How do you do," at the same time trying to balance a ridiculously small cup of tea and talk about the weather, the styles, the decora­tions--anything! to the person standing next to us.

And there are a good many of us, too, who after practically learning by heart Mrs. Post's Book of Etiquette, will go out the next day and, in our endeavor to do just the right thing, will get into a great muddle and end up by presenting the elderly woman to the young girl or the lady to the man ! And what an abominable feeling it is in introducing a person to find that you can't for the life of you remember his name !

Mrs. Post says that one should never introduce a person as "my

friend." Speaking of that, a rather funny incident occurred the other day. Mrs. Smith, wishing to introduce to me her friend, Mrs. Foote—Mrs. Smith, I might say is famous for her blunders—came up to me and, smiling graciously, said "My dear, I should like to pre­sent to you, my foote, Mrs. Friend."

And then introductions of speakers ! There are those interest-

ing specimens who believe it their bounden duty to introduce per­sons with a funny story or joke about them, even though in most cases it will fall flat. I used to believe that myself, and have spent hours pouring over the Spice of Life and books of jokes to find a stock of appropriate ones which I would triumphantly spiel off and believe I had made a success. And then one day—but that is too tragic a story. Suffice it to say that I have been cured of that dread disease since that day.

And there are those, too, who solemnly proceed to give an oration which would admirably fit a gravestone and then introduce the man, who is to give a group of exceedingly humorous stories. , Quite the opposite from this, but equally as ludicrous, is the

story of the chairman's blunder at a soldiers' memorial meeting. Four very long-winded speakers had finally finished, and as the fifth, a battle-scarred veteran, rose to speak, the audience in exasperation started to leave. The chairman, in great agitation, rushed forward and, holding up his hand, said, "Ladies and gentlemen, this man has gone through hell for us, and now he wants us to do the same for him."

Once in a while we find the person who doesn't facetiously make public all the faults of the speaker, nor eulogize his merits, nor give us a detailed account of his life—but such people are rare.

But, as Ring Lardner says (I was going to quote from this

distinguished author, but I couldn't find anything appropriate. It's too had, for it's such a delightful way to end an essay.)—However. as I was saying, conventionalities may become very troublesome at times, but much to my regret, I doubt if anything can entirely kill them off.

—Irene Couper, '25.

 

8                                THE CAMPUS BREEZE

OFF AGAIN, ON AGAIN, GONE AGAIN—TILLIE

It all began a year ago last November, when our new maid came. Then was our home a haven of refuge, a peaceful, quiet shelter from the storms of life. Thereafter it was to be a shelter for the storms of life, although at that time no such thought had entered our heads. For the first month all was bliss. Her culinary accomplishments we believe yet no man can equal, and even break­fasts are hearty, for delectable waffles, corn-bread, muffins, or toast grace the table, to be eaten with maple syrup and crisp, gold­en^, bacon. Consequently, the family, collectively, singularly, and respectively, soon lost the lean and hungry look which they had gotten during the reign of Bridget the Last and became fat and rosy.

Yes, the reign of Tillie I. commenced like a lamb. However, it was not long before her old pals discovered her new habitation, and from then on the words "restful peace" were completely dropped from our domestic vocabulary. Tillie, it must be ex­plained, had a few little mannerisms which were quite objec­tionable to us all; namely, she was addicted to Lady Nicotine and took a puff before and after very meal, going up to her room and staying seemingly as long as possible to avoid serving the family. But her besetting sin was that of just "not appearing" at strategic moments, staying away sometimes for days or even a week. Her first non-appearance we treated indulgently, with merely a mild admonition, and likewise the second and third, for Tillie, when she did appear, was too penitent, ostensibly, to need much re­proof ; we never noticed that with all her regret she never offered to improve or even try, as far as we could see. Months went on, and her pies had found the way to a man's heart, or at least to Dad's, so she felt quite secure in taking all day Friday as well as the customary Thursday afternoon for a holiday. But one Fri­day too often she tried her little stunt, for that day Mother and Dad were leaving on an early morning train for a relative's funeral. We, all unknowing that she had gone out, called patiently at 6 o'clock, then 6:15—still no answer. 6:28—silence. 6:30—and Dad was gazing astoundly through the open doorway into her room, for "she was risen, she was not there" (to quote the Bible passage), the only drawback being that she hadn't been home at all. Then I took my cue and ministered to the hunger of my fond parents and brothers at breakfast, and prepared to go to school, but lunch passed and still no Tillie. It was 5 :30 by the old clock on the mantel when Tillie sneaked in the back door with a sheepish look on her face.

From then on we saw her first as Mr. Hyde. then as Dr. Jekyll. Her previous life, far from drab, was often the subject of tales which she told me of her life as chambermaid in a large hotel, where a 5ealous girl started to do the Brutus act, or of an exciting night ride when she was injured in the collision of her friend's car with another, or perchance her family came up as a topic of conversation, so often, in fact, that I now know sisters, brothers, sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law, nephews, nieces, aunts and uncles, and all the vicissitudes of their existence. Under her spell I almost wept to hear of one poor sister living on a wild west­ern homestead with two tiny babies to care for,- and thrilled to see Tillie's own new clothes, all charged on her own account at Atkin-son's.

THE CAMPUS BREEZE

Yes, Tillie is a good dresser. Her spring coat cost $68—rather cheap, to be sure, for a maid, but very good-looking. Her hats al­ways cost $10 or $12, and are the large. droopy kind as a rule. Even footwear, silk "undies," and sheer chiffon hose were the latest style, and her six-dollar pocketbooks and modish gloves bear witness to her taste. She is tall and dark and believes firmly in the adage, "Save the Surface and you Save All—Paint and Var­nish," so she darkens eyebrows and lashes with Mascara and gen­erously applies her lipstick, powder, and rouge over vanishing cream.

Meanwhile men friends seem to delight in her company. Sometimes of an evening I have resignedly taken my post beside the telephone to answer her calls, for she would not hear them with her door locked, and I knew 'twould mean nothing to start studying until she was through talking. Her various affairs with the opposite sex, whom she had charmed only to discard, one by one, would make a narrative by themselves. But I must go on. Suffice it to say that she had plenty of dates when she wanted to go out, and too many when we wanted her to stay at home! Many a storm and oft has risen in our family circle when she would an­nounce, just as Mother and Dad were preparing to go out in the evening, "Oh, don't forget that I'm going to a party tonight." To mother's gentle protests she turned a scornful ear and still more scornful tongue, quoting copiously the duties of Olga-across-the-street, who didn't scarcely "earn her board and keep," according to Tillie, but who, according to her mistress, did many tasks which Tillie, although she received $50 a month in contrast to Olga's $45, would never stoop to do. Tillie would continue in a voice full of wrath that no maid had to work after eight o'clock, or afternoons from 3 to 5, and she wouldn't think of it ! Poor mother, astounded and not a little shocked, retreated and resolved to stay at home as much as possible. Indeed, I often regret that Tillie couldn't have taken Public Speaking, for her fiery eloquence is astounding!

Mother meekly now tries to suggest a menu for supper once in a while for variety's sake, without hoping to have it carried out ; also Mother had once told Tillie to serve a cheese dish instead of meat for supper one night. We sat down at the table and saw a huge plat­ter of meat before us, while in a little dish were a few, pieces of cheese ("So much for. orders!" says Tillie, snapping. her fingers.)

Tillie, like the proverbial "Letty" who "lingered longer," each time stayed out longer, until one day she decided to take a short vacation and remained away—in Stillwater, so she said—for nine days, while no one knew where she was or what had happened to her, and we joined with her relatives in anxiously telephoning hither and yon in a vain search for our "wandering girl." In spite of our resolves to fire her, Mother weakened when Tillie returned and tried once more to bring her back to the "straight and narrow" with love.

The climax came about two weeks ago, when Tillie announced, as we were leaving for an important meeting, that she would leave at 9 o'clock. In vain did Mother beg her to stay till 9:30--she re­mained obdurate, so Mother said, "Come in early, please"—and re­ceived such a torrent of words of withering scorn that she was al­most stunned. Intensely angry, Tillie said she would not be ques­tioned where she went, when she came, or what she did; and that she would go and come at her own pleasure. Mother, aghast, tried to say, "But, Tillie, do you think this is respectful—" when Tillie

 

10                              THE CAMPUS BREEZE

again burst out into a proclamation that she was no sixteen-year old girl and she'd not be treated like one, thereupon drawing her­self up to her full height of 5 feet 10 inches. And with the final statement that she would leave the next day if she couldn't have her own way, she raced upstairs to her room, slammed the door, and was heard to angrily strut around thereafter. Again we re­solved that her days were numbered and that the handwriting on the wall was directed to her, but she remains while Mother tries to "love her neighbor as herself."

Meanwhile anyone looking for a highly exciting place to stay, anyone who is suffering with ennui, may apply here for excitement, adventure, and thrills, as the remaining scenes of the Reign of Tillie I. are acted. (Which all explains why the title isn't quite true—she hasn't "gone again !")

—Ruth Lampland, '25.

POCKETS

Pockets are a peculiar device intended for the temporary storing of miscellaneous necessities or other orphaned objects. The veteran pocket of the two-year old is the old standby—a safety pin in the corner of the hanky. By the time the futuristic design of pants is eliminated and he is promoted into regular he-man pants, he must have some place other than his mouth to deposit things; so mother must daily extract the accumulation of sticks and cobblestones. As he becomes interested in marbles, the front pockets will undoubted­ly be drafted ; so he must be endowed with a rear pocket to park his hanky in (though the owner is looked upon with disdain should one be in evidence). When he reaches the age of decimals. he must be supplied with a coatful of pockets to keep his important cor­respondence in and a secret reservoir, accessible Only through a carefully concealed entryway beneath the protecting arms of a strap, or his age will be getting out of proportion with his pockets.

Of course, the farmer boy is at a great disadvantage, for he only has a shirt and a pair of overalls to have pockets in—and he needs them. He must always have a piece of haywire handy with which to fasten Lizzie down if the old piece should wear out. And he must always tote a potential toad-stabber, for he can never know when he will be called upon to autograph his desk (in later years it may be the most cherished possession of the school) or etch his "John Henry" on the postoffice door—to say nothing of unexpected things. He may have to do some graceful carving to keep in the good graces of "Susan Van Du'san." He must never be guilty of having less than ten spikes, forty-six penny nails, and a moderate handful of staples; for "bossy" has an irritating habit of leading her beautiful offspring through, under, or over the most substantial fences into greener gardens ; and he can never know when one of his suspenders will "give up the ship." Nevertheless, he usually finds room for about eight pockets to he plastered on one pair of overalls, and a coaster-wagon can often be confiscated from the younger generation to make up for a couple of the pockets he should

have in a coat.          •

A high school boy would perish with only ten pockets ; so a vest must be added, to his accouterment—incidentally, about six more pockets to lose things in. The sum of the pockets must equal the

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                  11

age of the young man or he is hopelessly out-of-date—even if his shoes have never been seen. From now on, his pockets may contain anything from hairpins (some still use one) to compacts, but never any change (it is, a good policy to make a small aperture near the lower extremity of one pant's side-pocket by way of explaining the drought to Dad). Handkerchiefs may be kept in either rear pocket, but the pocket in which the last one was put should be carefully remembered; for bones or anything may be uncovered should the wrong one be extracted.

—An Anonymous Senior Lad.

ART—AND—A STREET CAR

One fine thing about the present stage of humanity is that the most attractive and pleasing effects are sought in all places. A singularly striking example of this is in street cars. There is a lamentable probability that early morning crowds fail to appreciate the very apparent effort of the poster-arrangers to divert them by the display of advertisements along the car sides. Obviously, the cause of this failure is the unavoidable distraction of converging and multiplied humanity.

Whether true art consists of irregularity or similarity is large­ly a matter of opinion. Evidently it is an effort to please the majority that places a large, gay package of "Chase & Sanhurn's" tea next to an urgent plea to buy your coal early. It is a question as to which idea is meant to result from this association; whether that of smugness, warmth, and comfort while sipping tea, or a hid­den petition to live in the country and avoid the soot which must drop in one's beverage when dwelling in a crowded, many-chim-neyed city.

Beyond a doubt, the pictures of young women who, not having been born with beautiful hair, and disdaining to have it thrust upon them, have acquired it by the miraculous means of "Marchaud's Golden Hair Tonic" are inspiring to the Co-ed who frantically thrusts out her lower jaw to catch a feather drooping in front of her face and finally, jerking it (and the hat which it grotesquely adorns), finds several bedraggled strands of ordinary brown hair projecting quite menacingly in all directions. Or, as she smiles gratefully at the young man who sits before her and kindly puts his foot on her hat to keep it secure until she can stoop to pick it up, the avowals of Thiss Bros. to alleviate her miseries by an ample supply of leather goods—bags in particular, in which she might carry her books instead of juggling them in her arms—must surely be a comfort. However, if she got a bag, she would get out of practice in her juggling. Similarly, if the young hardy before her should have inherited a strain of his great gr21t grandfather's fabled chivalry and forgetting himself, offer her his seat, she would inevitably lose her art of balancing and would, consequently, be unable to join Barnum & Bailey's in the summer. This would be disastrous, for no parents or even the conscientious young person of today wants to waste a college education.

Yet as one stuffs a book into one's bosom rand a purse down the top of an overshoe, the remarkable value of Omega Oil to

suf-

ferers of many pains, and the manifold virtues and temptations of

 

12                              THE CAMPUS BREEZE

Wampole's Mineral Oil is certainly an inspiration to the disembark­ing sociologist who realizes the former discoveries and aids to hu­manity made by similar reflections of his fellow "reliever." And inspirations are never amiss, especially when one dashes wildly across a slippery campus, or a "copsized" thoroughfare, at the noble risk of one's martyred life.

—Virginia Bollinger, '26.

A LAST APOSTROPHE

Fellow Students of U High :

The time is drawing near when we. the Seniors, must think of leaving these "seats of our youth"; and, as this is the last time that we shall make an appearance in the Campus Breeze, we feel that we should take the opportunity to bid an appropriate farewell which may survive the ages in print.

First, we wish to thank the Juniors for the J. S. and to con­gratulate them on their success. We all agree that it was great !

We sincerely hope that we haven't disillusioned the Freshmen to too great an extent during the year ; and to the Sophomores we say that, speaking from experience, you will never feel bigger or more superior than you do now.

For a whole year now we Seniors have been collecting an ar­ray of appropriate equipment; and so now, armed with our photo­graphs, calling cards, announcements, and Bisbilas, there remains only one thing more, our diplomas, with which to set forth into the wide, wide world. The time is so portentous that we are almost moved to write an ode or a sonnet, but not quite. But, cheer up! We'll soon have the distinction of being called "alumni," and we can always come back to see the rest of you at times; so perhaps a nursery rhyme will do. Something like this:

The Senior class has gone away To seek their fortunes as they may ; They'll come back to see us some day, Wise and worthy Seniors.

A WORD FROM THE ABSENT

501 West 120th Street.

New York City,

April 9, 1925. Dear U High Friends,

I've been wanting to write you a letter for a long time, but I didn't know just how to go about it ; so I asked Eleanor King. Well—I guess I'll have to do it my own way after all, for I'm sure the Breeze would refuse to publish the sentimental effusions its Editor-in-Chief suggested. Oh, I tell you, you don't know Eleanor !

I know you'll all be thrilled to small particles to have me rave about myself and my wanderings in the big city, but I'm going to do it anyhow. To you "small-town people 'way out West" New York seems, perhaps, a goal far-away and mystical. I'm not going to disillusion you, or anything like that, because I don't believe in disillusionments; but I will say that it isn't really far away, and not in the least "mystical."

 

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                13

But it is very thrilling to me, and 1 know you'd love it, too. The first night here I couldn't sleep at all, because the sky was all pink with reflected lights, and I simply couldn't get enough of the fascinating view we have of great piles of apartment houses slop­ing ₎down this side of 125th Street Valley (1 don't know what else to call it !) and up the other side. It looks like a painted back­drop, with the half-fog. half-smoky veil that usually hangs over it.

And then it seems almost too good to be true to be able to hop onto a Riverside Bus 'most any time and ride down to the Metropolitan Museum in Central Park. I've already spent days wandering through that place—it's vast and fascinating—and I owe it many more days before I shall have done it justice.

I know there are people anxiously waiting for , me to rant

about Fifth Avenue and its wonderful shops, so                          do my best.
They are wonderful. Most of them I have seen from the outside only—that seems to me the safest way. I'm always horribly ner­vous in "establishments" "de Mme. This" or "Mlle. That." I like Gimbel Bros. best, because it's most like Dayton's—which is an all-revealing confession!

But Broadway now! Beautiful Broadway! That's the most fun of all. At night when all the brightest lights of the country's brightest street are twinkling and glittering and glaring and flash­ing and winking all over the landscape—why, all the magazine stories you've read about it come true, and your blood runs hotter, and your breath comes faster, and your eyes just blink and stare, and stare, and stare! Oh, I wish you could see the "Cliquot Club" sign right at 42nd—Times Square, you know—it's just marvelous. And there's a running-sign that tells you all the news of the day and the benefits derived from Anheuser-Busch Ginger Ale besides, and up a ways toward 45th, Dr. West's Tooth Brush industriously brushes a set of pearly teeth, high in the air. But I can't describe it; come and see it yourselves some day.

Enough of New York (yet not the half of it)! I've used so many superlatives I've run out several times over, but I've saved two of them. Horace Mann may be the best school east of Broadway (and I think it is), but U High is positively the best school from Broadway to the Pacific, and Minneapolis is the best city to live in if you want to live—not to die either of utter fatigue or of ennui. And though there isn't so much difference in people as you might think (New Yorkers are just like Minne-apolitans except that they put their umbrellas up for nothing and say "Club So and So" instead of "The So and So Club"), I'll always think that U High students make the best students, friends, athletes, and everything else.

See you next September!

Very sincerely,

Jane Ford.

14                        THE CAMPUS BREEZE

1c14.¹/₄..4^,

M ooring Place : Buffalo, Minnesota.

12. aunched : August 13, 1901.
12. ikes : U High, tennis, Harry Lauder.

5. ducated : Buffalo; Lycee St. Germain, Paris; Hamline University.

• ices : Harmless.

I ntellect : Perhaps what Shakespeare described as "The undis­covered country."

13. ddities : Born Friday, the thirteenth, in an odd year.

12. oathings : Movies, chewing gum, centipedes.

5. nvies: The dog on the Victor records, who hears all the music and never cranks the machine.

T aught: French in Staples, Kerkhoven, and Princeton High Schools.

With apologies to Cynewulf and his Runic alphabet.

 

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                15

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16                             THE CAMPUS BREEZE

OUR PRINCIPAL SAYS:

To serve God, his country, and his fellowmen; to earn a liveli­hood for himself and for those dependent upon him, to spend his money and his leisure ,for those pleasures which uplift and in­vigorate both mind and body, to develop his intelligence, to culti­vate the spiritual values of life and a sense of responsibility for the social, moral, and political conditions of the community—these are obligations and duties of every citizen of the American Com­monwealth. Schools are maintained by the state as one of the agencies offering every young man and young woman an opportun­ity to prepare to meet these obligations.

With the close approach of the close of the year 1924-1925, it is fitting that each student pf the University High School should take stock with himself to determine to what extent he has used the opportunities offered him to develop his powers and capacities to their utmost, and to resolve that wherever he may have fallen short in the past he will, to the best of his ability, remedy it in the days yet remaining.

As each school year passes, its close is marked by the culmina­tion of the work of one of the classes of our high school and the graduation of its members to continue their work in other and larger fields. So this June the members of the Class of 1925 join the great body of our Alumni. Though they will not be with us next year as active participants in our daily school life, we know that their loyalty to our school and their eager interest in its suc­cess will be as great as ever, and that they will continue to be staunch supporters of the honor, the spirit, and the traditions of the University High School. We hope their fine aspirations and ambitions may be realized, and that life will hold for them much happiness and success. We hope that many times we shall have the opportunity of welcoming them back to see us and to tell us of their successful achievements.

With this issue the Campus Breeze closes its publication for this year, and, perforce, the publishing of the Honor Roll closes with it. I regret that the last two reports of this year can not be given immediate publicity, but with the opening of next year there shall be published the names of those who have achieved distinction during the remainder of this quarter. The Honor Roll is the largest this month it has been at any time this year.

In this particular issue a star is placed opposite the name of each person who has been upon the Honor Roll every report this year. TO them we offer heartiest congratulations upon their dis­tinctly worth-while achievement.

 

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                   17

Roll of Honor

*Andrea Kiefer *Eleanor King

All A's *Ruth Lampland *Hermion Wheaton

 

All B's or Better

Frank Andrus *Jane Armstrong *Dorothy Arny Clifford Beal Lillian Bissell *Donald Blomquist Eleneta Carpenter Daniel Carroll Henry Clark *Irene Couper *Lois Finger

 

*John Hynes *Arthur Lampland Helen Lasby *John McConnell Robert Myers *Evangeline Nary John Shuman *Eileen Slattery Nancy Staples *Helen Wildes *Winifred Washburn

B Average

Gordon Bassett Charles Burbach Muriel Clark

William Haggerty Wendell Johnson Margaret Larawa

*Katherine

 

Bessie Levine Malcolm Manuel *Gail Nesom *Katherine Preston *Theodore Rasmussen James Tyler

 

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Washburn

18                              THE CAMPUS BREEZE

The Campus Breeze

Volume VII Minneapolis, Minn., May and June, 1925 Number 7

Published Monthly by the Students of
THE UNIVERSITY HIGH SCHOOL
From November to June

Terms : $2.00 per year cash ; $2.25 paid quarterly ; 35c per copy.

EDITORIAL STAFF

Editor-in-Chief   .................................................................................. Eleanor M. King

Associate Editor ................................................................................... John Stellwagen

Associate Editor  ......................................................... We. ------------------------------------------ James Tyler

Organizations  .................................................................................. ...Evangeline Nary

Personals                                                                                         Lucy Day Wakefield

 

Boys' Athletics Girls' Athletics .... Art Editor .....................

Helen Reilly Donald Mathieson

...................................................................................................................... Gan Nesom

............................................................................................................... Mary Ada Kelly

Alumni Editor  .............................................................................. Madrienne Strickler

Joke Editor  .......................................................................................... Wallace Merritt

ExchangeEditor_ ......_Katherine Washburn

Senior Reporter ........................................................................................ Irene Couper
Junior Reporter........__..._Finkelstein (pro tem)

Sophomore Reporter ............................................................................ .Ruth Thorshov

Freshman Reporter  ............................................................................ Jane Armstrong

                                                                      Faculty Adviser    Miss Rewey Belle Inglis

BUSINESS STAFF

Business Manager                                Circulation.............			.Werner Gullander ......................_......John McConnell fHarold Eberhardt I William Haggerty { Thain Stewart Henry Bull Ernest Gann Louis  Tohill
Minneapolis Advertising....
St. Paul Advertising  ' Faculty Adviser.......

 

FINIS

And so passes the old regime. During the past school year we have tried, faithfully, and to the best of our ability, to uphold and better the literary traditions of the Breeze. For, despite the actual fact of our light-hearted name, the Campus Breeze has a sound and traditional foundation. Generations of editors have added to the family and University electricity bills to make a really unique pub­lication. The Breeze goes forth into the academic world, outside of our own circle of readers, to show this outside world what we can do. And it is this reputation that we have striven to build up and add to during our term of office in the editorial chair. We are not ashamed of our work.

 

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                              19

After all, when we look back on the school year, it is certainly not an unpleasant memory. True, the every-day routine of classes and scholastic achievement does become rather wearisome in early fall and late spring, but—there is the excitement of a close football or baseball game, the rush of basketball, the smooth thrill of a swimming meet; parties, dances: a good orchestra, a glassy floor, swaying couples, dancing with Her or Him; riverbanking on a sunny day when the piled massy clouds are barely drifting; the Gopher on a busy day at lunch hour; the trees and grass getting daily greener outside class-windows ; the class play ; the vaude­ville; the operetta—of these, and others too numerous to mention, each of us has his own peculiar preference. But surely, unless one is particularly unlucky, there is no way in which the year can be looked upon other than favorably, to put it mildly.

We, at least,—the editors of the Breeze—have had no small reason to regret leaving. Here's to our successors!

LISSUN

I don't very often speak up, but there be times when I do like to speak, my mind. So here I go!

I been at U High four years, and I ain't larnt much 'ceptin' grammar and such-like things, but they is one thing I noticed when I been-a-tryin' to study in ol' 117, an' that is.that I can't do it ! Mos' ev'rybudy sets aroun' and gabbles ; and sometimes it gets so fierce in there that a body simply can't think ! An' then, when it's at the very wust, Miss Penrose comes up in that direction, an' then things sort-a settle down for a spell. But one day I heered Miss Penrose say to one of the kids, "I hate to be a deputy conscience. I wish people had will-power enough to govern themselves." An' ya know, it sort-a struck me that she was right.

Ain't them your sentiments egsackly?

--52', Nrubhsaw Enirehtak.

20                              THE CAMPUS BREEZE

THE J. S. PROM

With a reverberating twang Dave Wing's coon-talking banjo swung the minds of the work-frenzied Juniors off their worries "Just^, for the Night." Compelling saxophones with golden throats that bellowed forth tones deep as rivers offered, "See You in My Dreams" to dispel the melancholy of the J. S. as to the where­withal of support.

The hearts of the Juniors missed a beat when Norma Scott and Don Blomquist headed off the grand march at 9:00 that Saturday night in the Minnesota Union. Were the pipe-dreams really taking form? All their labors were not in vain.

The morning after the night before—April 19—told the story. Wires of the N. W. Telephone Co. were hot with exultant out-

bursts—"a perfectly ducky !" and "a whale of a party !" Reports have it that church pews during the organ prelude resounded sacrilegiously with, "Didn't she look adorable?" ejaculations.

For the three weeks preceding the date set for the Prom, the Juniors were a busy lot who were planning and scheming with the

shrewdness of Caesars, with the challenge to "put it over" calling

forth their best efforts in the face of financial difficulties. They
grew from a dissatisfied, ill-organized class into one that ran with

smooth co-operation. The committees functioned with the minut­est precision, whether their job was to decorate or to choose patrons and patronesses.

An excellent spur to labor came with one C. W. Boardman's gentle remonstrance that the Juniors were an unbusinesslike class

who must make the affair go "on their own." Our debt is also great
to Miss Hubman, who helped and worried through our problems

with us; and to Mr. K. Egbert Rollefson, whose advisory service was "Peppo" to us. Miss Muriel Clark, as general chairman, rates all the credit that can be given her. We could do a lot of compli­menting here, but leave that to some other reporter to do—"There's a Reason."

Now that the smoke of the strenuous preliminaries have cleared for the year, comes a mocking from thin air—"Don't crow too much, dear Juniors, for next year your task begins."

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                   21

EXTRA! EXTRA!

HUGE BONFIRE IN U HIGH!

"Protection—not Advertisement" is the slogan of the RED-TOP CUBS now lining up, and to which all the persecuted, mal­treated, and despairing "Red-Tops" may come for relief.

Our principal. Mr. Boardman, has been duly interviewed as to the need and desirability of this organization ; and although he greatly regrets that he has no grounds upon which to seek admis­sion, he is delighted to confer the honor of participation upon Miss O'Brien, who he feels can amply qualify.

Membership in the RED-TOP CUBS will be upon two bases. All true "Red-Tops" will become charter members ; and the hybrids. those just on the border-line between auburn and hair-colored hair may be admitted through initiation.

Hark ye! Hark ye! The RED-TOPS are gathering their forces and will soon take U High by storm!

THE T. T. GLEES

During the winter quarter a group of girls organized a small Glee Club. The club is composed of nine Sophomores and five Freshmen.

The T. T.'s are Ellen Oren, Betty Gove, Marjorie Page, Elora Gartner, Eleanor Evenson, Donna Kurtz, Helen Wold, Betty Rug­gles, Ruth Schultz, Virginia Fehr, Katherine Preston, Josephine Ulrich, Theodora Sutton, Ruth McMahon.

Our officers are :

President—Joe Ulrich

Secretary—Theodora Sutton Treasurer—Helen Wold

Under the kind guidance of Miss Hollenbeck we are prepar­ing several surprises.

Never heard of us before? Well, come up to 204 next Monday night.

 

ZZ                            THE CAMPUS BREEZE

ACME

The members of Acme have been afraid that there would be no active members next year; but now we need fear no more, for we have four new members—Helen Lasby and Mildred Larson, Juniors; and Virginia Fehr and Katherine Preston, Sophomores. The Sophomores were pledged in Assembly, and the Juniors were pledged in a special Acme meeting. They were all initiated to some degree at school, but the real initiation was held on Saturday, May second, at Hermion Wheaton's.

For the first time in the history of Acme an alumnae meeting, at which all girls who had ever been Acmeans were present, was held along with the initiation meeting. It was a most interesting gathering, and everyone enjoyed it immensely. The alumnae helped put the new members to torture—a thing which the afore­mentioned members did not, perhaps, appreciate as much as they should have. After we had put them through all the trials which had been played on us at our initiation, we started on some new ones; and although the sufferers remained physically intact, they were, no doubt, rather disturbed mentally.

After the serious part of the initiation had been performed, Mrs. Wheaton served a most delicious dinner.

All in all, it was a pleasant meeting—old acquaintances were renewed, slight ones enlarged, and some started. We found out what nice girls our "alums" all are, and we also found that they are still interested in the "Acme" that they used to belong to when they were in High School.

The Pledges proved themselves to be excellent entertainers.

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                  23

 

94                       THE CAMPUS BREEZE

RIME OF U HIGH BASEBALL

I

'Twas the Podunk U High ball game For the championship of the state; The score was seven for Podunk;

For the U High it was eight.

II

But the tired U High pitcher

Had passed men One, Two, Three, When the stalwart Podunk hero said, "Just try to strike out me!"

III

He rapped his bat with vicious swing

On the unresisting plate :

"Now put one over, if you dare; Why do you hesitate?"

IV

The pitcher poised his powerful paw;

Then "Get you set," said he; "And I will show you how it feels

To count strikes up to three."

V

He held him with his eagle eye :

The ball sped toward its mark; The Podunk rooters tore the air,

As the ball flew from the park.

VI

Higher and higher up it flew,

And over the fence and away ;

But the umpire true just scanned the blue;

"Foul—Strike"—they heard him say.

VII

Again the mighty pitcher

Uncoiled his sinewy arm ;

The Podunk Batter swung again, But his great bat did no harm.

VIII                                    • f

"Two Strikes !" the umpire shouted ;

All U High screamed with glee; The Podunk hero stood aghast;

"Three Strikes—you're out," said la:

IX                            r,

Back thru the dust to Podunk school The rooters took their way.

The Podunk team, an sad of eye,                                            •
Bemoaned the dismal day.

X

Old U High hallways shook with cheers

For the pitcher calm and cool; He had tamed the Podunk hero,

Struck him out with bases full.

—Harriet Zelner, '26.

 

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                 25

PREP ATHLETES DON BASEBALL AND TRACK TOGS

Putting basketball and swimming on the shelf after having a moderately successful season, our athletes turned their activities to the spring sports—baseball and track.

Indications point toward a banner year in both sports. Coach Hanson has four letter men to use as a nucleus for his nine. Besides these he will be well fortified with a promising array of last year's second stringers. Captain Al Todd will lead the team from behind the bat. Al looked good last year, and this year he is expected to do some first-class receiving. lion Blomquist, with his baffling underhand delivery, will get the call for the mound duties with Robertson, a budding prospect, as his understudy. John McConnell has the earmarks of a real first baseman. He has a neat peg, his fielding is up to par, and his clouting ranks next best to no one. Haggerty, a port-sider, seems to be the next best bet at the initial sack. Berry, a newcomer, has shown a lot of class at second. He has been in a little batting slump, but it is thought that by the time the season opens he will be hitting with the rest of the team. Merritt, who was used at third last year, has been shifted to short. Pierce had been groomed for this position, but on account of his heavy scholastic program and the Senior class play he was forced out. Fredrickson, basketball captain, is playing third. Burbach, a consistent hitter, will take care of the center garden and promises to catch everything that comes his way. The other two garden posts are as yet undecided. There are about ten candidates for these two positions. Leading among them are Barwise, Brown, Hynes, Carol, and Gieske.

 

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The Cinder team, with the capable Mr. Dahl as their coarh, seem to have a very promising outlook for the season with all the letter men, with the exception of two, back in harness ready to make all the competition step to win over them. The team have been practicing diligently since vacation and are fast rounding into shape. Bax Smith has been out of practice with an infected foot. His return will bolster the title chances of the team greatly, as last year he was high-point man. We hope he will repeat again this year.

 

26                                         THE CAMPUS BREEZE

THE GYM MEET FROM THE BOYS' STANDPOINT

Vull, girls (as grandpa 'ud say) ya' did well. You all know that this year is the first time we males have been permitted to view the Gym Exhibition since the time the boys were "rawther boister-

ous." And from the start until the end there was a series of "alas" and "ohs" of admiration.

For once the girls were placed on the same level. There was not a chance for one to outdo the other in the matter of dress. The powdered and primped-up girl surely didn't compare with the ones who did not try to make out of themselves what they aren't. This has been our first opportunity to view them all on an equal plane—opinions of some have changed!

If an individual star had been picked, we are sure it would have been none other than Middie Borne. The ease and grace she used in all her events made us feel jealous. Second place would have gone to Dorothy Belle. Luree and Middie Larson would have been equally good for third place.

The obstacle race was the best yet. Leave it to the Juniors to win the hard things. (Ed. Note: It's not hard to guess that a Junior boy is writing this article.) The mothers of these four young ladies don't have to worry about their daughters being late to school, for the speed they showed in hopping into their attire was bewildering. Eleanor brought down the house when she hob­bled over the finish to win the booby prize.

We fellows thought we were the only ones that had to work for U's, but we have decidedly changed our minds. We want to congratulate you, in cur humble way, on putting over the Exhibi­tion. It has given us inspiration to work hard and uphold our part.

—The Boys.

NO BODY EVER WON

A MARATHON

WITH OUT A LOT OF MIGHTV HARD Nt, TRAINING

THE CAMPUS BREEZE

OUR ALUMNI

Marjorie Cheney was chosen queen of St. Pat's day at the U. of M., April 24. Her partner, Pat himself, was Mr. Joe Meagher. This coveted office carried with it some very picturesque duties ; for example, the knig"ting of each graduating Senior in the En­gineer's college, presiding at the green tea and dansant, and leading the grand march at the "Brawl" that evening. Altogether, the job probably kept Marjie out of mischief for one day at least. She was gowned in ermine and the significant color of Ireland. Delta Delta Delta sorority claims her.

• * *

The Kappa Delta sorority gave its annual spring frolic April 17 at the Curtis hotel. As a feature of one of the intermissions, Greta Clark presented a Pierrette dance.

• * *

The secretary of the Y. W. C. A. next year will be Dorothy Merritt, '24. Dor has worked nobly all year with that organization and was a member of the Freshman Commission. Recently she also served on the arrangements committee for the "Frosh Bowery Jag."

• * *

At a home wedding April the 15, Miss Cathryn Haisley, class of 1920, became the bride of Mr. Ira H. Cram of Tulsa, Oklahoma. Lucille Brock, of the same graduating class, assisted at the recep­tion; she is now living in Rochester, Minnesota.

* *

Fifth in the line of grand march for the Senior Prom, the most elaborate of all University functions, were Mr. Levi Osterhus and his partner, Rachel Perkins. The Prom took place at the State Capital on May 8.

• * *

Frances MacLean, 1921, is to have the leading role in the Senior class play at Carleton College in May. History is thus repeating it­self, for Frances had the leading part in "Stop Thief" when she was a Senior at U High.

• * *

By organizing a group of Wellesley girls to spend Easter vaca­tion at .Bermuda, Alice. Hickey, 1922, obtained free passageway on the trip for herself and her mother. Alice is just as enterprising as she used to be at U High.

28                              THE CAMPUS BREEZE

kaXeHRNSEW^-1

For the past three months we have been receiving letters from Ruth James, the Exchange Editor of the McKinley High School. Monthly, who has been telling us how the Campus Breeze looks to other people. We have just been reading their March issue and are glad to say that it is one of the best-edited and one of the most thoroughly delightful magazines that conies to us. Much of the poetry is very good, but this one particular bit especially caught our attention because of its unusual musical quality.

AWAKE!

World, awake I

Thy sleep is done ; Rest no more

Till rest is won,

After the harvest.

Spring returns

To claim her own

And rule us from

Her verdant throne,

While skies are smiling.

In this magazine we also especially like the "Student Forum," which consists of editorials concerning school-life written by the students themselves. It is original and very interesting.

We've just picked up the Unionite from Grand Rapids, Michi­gan, and find it to be chuckful of fun and humor and perfectly delightful reading.

The Monitor from New Castle, Pennsylvania, has a very clever cover design with a most appealing and amusing Easter bunny. All the way through it is very well gotten up and is always inter­esting. One of the features last month was a cross-word puzzle which looked easy and proved to be rather, well-er-a, puzzling! Since the Senior High New Castle girls have inter-scholastic athletics, there are some very interesting write-ups, not only of the Boys' Athletics, but of the Girls' as well. This is new, and we imagine that our own Girls' Athletics Editor would enjoy some­thing of that sort, if only for the sake of having something different to write about.

We are afraid that all loyal "Campus Breeze-ites" would be rather doubtful of a paper that so encroached upon our windy dig­nity as to call itself the Breeze, but such is actually the case! But in all fairness we must say that the Breeze from Center City, Min­nesota, is well-edited, is a good representative of school spirit, and is very interesting.

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                                  29

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Directions : One pill every two hours. After reading once read again. Please follow and avoid congestion, rather, indigestion.

Name—The Lower Lunasy Author—By Ford Wheel Time—At Dawning

Potsdam, March 33—Aaron Phlebitis, 7 months, shot, killed. and severely wounded his father, grandmother, uncle, aunt, first. second, and third cousins in a killing fashion last night. "1 didn't know it was loaded," said Aaron.

Lemon Pie selling at nine cents a cut.

OLD SETTLERS MEETING

Amsterdam, March 33--The City Council has ordered a bridge built across the Cider Sea to shade the fish from the afternoon sun.

Lemon Pie selling like hot cakes at 12¹/₄ per slug.

SIX DAY CROSS-WORD CONTEST CONCLUDED

Sauk Center, March 33 somemore—The gas light is passing out. say the International Council of Illuminating Engineers and Gas-Lighters. This may be readily seen by the present number of local gas lights, numbering 85, as compared with the number of gas lights in 1883, numbering 85.

Lemon Pie is drawing the crowd at 13¹/₄ cents the each. Rotterdam, March 33—Why does a snapshot snap?

Small Jimmy did the pantry raid,

And then was heard to mutter — —!!

For, what he thought was angel cake

Was only bread and butter.

FOUR KILLED IN MOTOR ACCIDENT!!!

Two Flats, March 33—Townsfolk in this vicinity were today protesting against recent newspaper talk that they opposed the wearing Of Rockford socks.

Lemon Pie closing for the day at 14 and two sixteenths.

THE CAMPUS BREEZE

 

SO 9%5 SC) 5a,

r1.~►.K-

Slanguage selected for Personal Passwords:

Clarice: I have an opening for you; dcln't slam it as you go out.

Rhoda: Give your goloshes a glide.

Alice Kelm: Take your serenade to another window.

Jean King: Run along, billiard; it's not your cue.

Fanny Clark: Hit the highway.

Edith Z: Give your ankles a gallop.

Middy Borne : Go to the tropics if you want a date.

Green Freshie: Say, what does this Carl Lewis look like?

Wise-Cracking Senior: Like a lick without a promise.

We hear that Judd's motto since he got his new Ford is "Step on it ; pass everything but the buck."

What Would Happen If :

Tiny Stafford should stop dieting?

Clarice should stop writing notes?

Virginia should ever fight with Fred?

Mugs Wentling should lose her temper?

Jean and Chuck should break up?

Kay Washburn appeared wearing red?

Jack Brown might possibly happen to fall for Mary Ada? We Know There's Something Wrong

If Rhoda isn't talking.

If Ellen Oren forgets to powder her nose.

If Jack Stellwagen forgets to open the windows. If Alice Kelm isn't talking to mere than three boys. If Heinie didn't have a case on somebody.

John : Well, Bill, did you see your old gal, Belle, when you were home?

Bill: No, I didn't. She was sick all the time I was home. John: How do you know?

Bill: 'Cause everytime I went up to her house. there was a sign on the door, "Bell out of order "

Heinie: Did you know that Clarice is riding horseback for re­ducing exercises?

Mer: No, really?

Heinie: Yes, but she's gained 16 lbs., and the poor horse lost

60.

THE CAMPUS BREEZE                                              31

Author—Jack Brown

A treasurer, so I've sadly found,

In order to collect what's due, Must pester, wrangle, and expound,

And even flatter one or two.

This little poem ain't very good,

We don't expect much boom :

But we really done the best we could,

And it don't take up much room.

IN THE MAGAZINE STAND

Youth's Companion—Miss Stevens.

Vanity Fair—Beryl Wallace. Every Week—Tests.

Adventure—Getting an A. Bookman—Andrea Kiefer. Red Book—Gordon Bassett. Scientific—Chuck Bunbach. Vogue—Edith Zimmer.

American Boy—Billy Harold. Physical Culture—Lucy. Judge—Mr. Boardman.

Theater—Music Auditorium. Worlds of Work—U High.

Good Housekeeping—Miss Coon.

"When You and I are Seventeen":

Dorothy Belle McCrea and Billy Harold may be quite grown up and—well, maybe—allowed to go to a show all alone on the street car without the "con" asking them, "Where's your parents?"

Ross Shaw may realize that beauty's only skin deep.

Maybe Marion Orr will use powder without blushing.

Maybe Ramola Griswold will get over the "red silk dress" stage.

Perchance Barbara Francis will have outgrown them childish pranks.

Don't rely on this, but there's always a possibility maybe Douglas Young will look real hardened and quite—well, anyway—without blushing.

One may be led to believe that maybe Bud Spenser will realize his line isn't so well baited.